Advertising
I have always been under the impression that there is a truth in advertising law in this country. Recently, there has been a commercial on television for AT&T that I find impossible to believe. In this particular commercial an excited gang of neighbors are running out in the street to meet the mail truck that is bringing their AT&T bills. Come on folks, if this were the case, we would all be ganged up in the street, blocking traffic once a week, waiting for the mail truck to bring one of our phone bills. I think a more truthful approach for a telephone commercial would be, Ma asking Pa if he had checked the mail box today, and Pa answering, “No Ma, cause I think that one of them phone companies is gonna reach out and touch us again today.”
And can you imagine getting excited over bills? Especially the bills you don’t understand in the first place. I personally have never been confused in my life. I get a bill from Ma Bell then I get a bill from AT&T and they are both telling me to pay up by the fifth of the month so or else…snip. and I’m off their mailing list.
We all have the distinction of being on AT&T’s mailing list. The last interesting correspondence from them had the words cart-a-sort before the name and address. I don’t know what cart-t-sort means, but in my eyes it looks about as impressive as something addressed ‘occupant’.
The last large envelope from this friendly company had a letter in it telling me that, now we have. “AT&T Opportunity Calling.” Whoopee, now they are going to save us money. They even enclosed a catalog with pretty pictures in it. just like Christmas at J.C Penney’s. They say they are going to give us dollar credit for every dollar we spend on one long distance. With these credit dollars we can buy anything our hearts desire, like clothes, trips, cars, furniture. and other things too numerous to mention.
Now I would be willing to work things out with AT&T for the benefit of both of us. I will pay 50c of my dollar for long distance and they pay 50c of my dollar for long distance and keep my credit dollar. They would be 50c ahead, but I’m willing to sacrifice a little. This arrangement sounds fair to me, but it seems no one has ever asked for my opinion.
Feeling certain that my idea will never be accepted. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to get quite a few credit dollars.
So while paging through my AT&T wish book. I had a funny thought, what if, you couldn’t read. You would have to believe the pictures. You might think that the Am Track train on page four or the cruise ship on page ten were premiums just for reaching out and touching someone in the next town. Can you imagine how much touching you would have to do to get these things? In fact, that much touching could take on shades of an X-rated movie.
I don’t know, after looking at the picture book for a while. I might leave things just the way they are. Think I’ll call Uncle Don in South Dakota or Uncle Gene in Georgia, because as much as it cost to call long distance it won’t be long and I’ll be able to forget work and the kids, put on my new clothes, and be relaxing on a TWA plane, on my way to exploring Europe in my Avis rental car.
Gosh! I’m getting so excited. I can’t wait until the mail truck gets here.
