God Love 'em, what would we do without 'em. Part 2
Men, God love ‘em, are very observant, especially when it comes to a womans wardrobe. They always notice what she is wearing. For instance, you can dress up from head to foot with new clothes (with the tags still on the sleeve) and they look at you like they have seen you that way so many times, that they don’t have to say anything. Then you go to the closet and squeeze into clothes that have bee in hanging there since you were a teenager, dust on the shoulders and all, and they ask. “Oh! is that something new?” When you say… “No. I’m going to a 50’s costume party,” they say “Oh sure, it looks new to me.”
Men. God Love ‘em, have a memory bank that has nothing to do with their everyday memory. In this memory bank they have stored all the important numbers and dates of the last 30 years. They can remember the date and the score of the Dallas Cowboy-Denver Bronco game that was played in 1974. They can also remember the day and date of your birthday, when the kids bring out your birth day cake.
Men, God Love ‘em, get things done!! Procrastination is not a word used when describing their work record around the house. All a woman has to say is. “I think I’ll hire someone to come over and clean the yard and garage,” and like magic, the next afternoon, he has the yard and garage clean enough for a family reunion.
Men, God love ‘em, are great at entertaining and being the guest with zest. When having dinner with friends, and a drink and conversation after dinner, the host and male guest occasionally contribute their part to the conversation with intervals of snoring.
Men, God love ‘em, are also terrific grocery shoppers. They can go to the store and come home with sacks full of thick steaks, gooey cookies, gourmet ice cream, marinated herring, shrimp, smoked oysters, imported cheese and potato chips and never complain about the price of groceries. But they have lapses of memory about the high cost of living, when they are watching you unpack the sugar, coffee, flour, toilet paper, soap, chicken and dog food. This is when they say, “Do you mean to tell me, that this junk cost eighty dollars!l”
Men, God love ‘em, are great environmentalists too. They retrieve every piece of junk that you are taking to the trash and put in the garage. They believe that they might need a plastic one gallon ice cream container or an empty coffee can someday. They are also far sighted enough to know… it is better to have Junk in the garage than have it messing up the outdoor environment for future generations
And last, but certainly not least. Men, God love ‘em, are the best planners and instructors in the world. They can plan your trip to town and back by saying…“Would you mind running to Lamar today, and while you are there pick up the things I need for work tomorrow?“” Then they proceed to give you step by step instructions on how to get there. They tell you what road to take, how fast to go, where to turn and when to stop. Then they proceed to tell you what you are supposed to say, when and if you get there. (without getting lost), being as precise as a second grade teacher giving her class instructions on how to find the bathroom.
Now, let me recap what I said at the beginning of this column, (that turned out to be a two part mini-series). All the things I have said are fragments of my imagination, and any similarity to any man or husband in the world is purely coincidental. I have found out one thing since writing this mini-series about men… it is certainly more difficult to write fiction than it is to write the facts, ‘maam.
May I add something that is a fact…Men, God love ‘em, what WOULD we do without ‘em?? THE END!
