What is NASA's phone number?
A couple of months ago. I wrote a column titled, “City girl turns critter sitter”. In this column. I told about the perils of city folks who move to the quiet solitude of the country. How before they know it, their quiet country existence is over run by critters and the problems that critters create. This past week was very dull as far as getting material for this column was concerned. Then, as if the wooly critters knew that I was having a tough time coming up with a column, they gave me something to tell you about. Please keep in mind that I stake no claim to the wooly critters. Mr. M claims 100 percent ownership.
As we all know. Monday was a very wet nasty day. After picking “Clark” up at school, I drove home. When I drove in the driveway, there they were…two of the wooly critters (namely sheep), cruising around the yard, munching happily away on the iris plants. The only thing I could do was to put the wooleyboogers back where they belonged…in the barn. I started toward these two wooley ladies, with the rain pouring down on my white slacks, sandals and freshly sprayed hairdo. And wouldn’t you know it, they took one look at me and ran from the grass right into the muddy garden area. One headed in one direction and the other headed in the opposite direction with you know who, in hot pursuit. I would have been better off if I would have kicked off my sandals and ran through the mud barefoot. As it happened, my sandals kept sticking in the mud so I would have to stop periodically and go back and retrieve my shoes. And all the while. “Clark” is standing in the garage yelling. “Mom, when are you going to fix my lunch”? After a good ten minutes of running through the rain, mud and other barnyard things. I finally got both of the critters in the barn and locked the gate. Thinking I had it made. I headed for the house to dry out and wash my feet. This is when I heard it, a little baa from a lost sheep. Seems one of the Mamas that I had locked securely in the barn, had left her little baby wooley-booger standing in the rain. Not only was Junior standing in the rain crying for his Mama, he was standing in the rain on the wrong side of the fence. He was standing on the side of the fence that is along a muddy dirt road. Knowing that kids ought to be with their Mamas, especially when they are cold, wet and hungry. I set out to earn the Good Samaritan Award of the year, by rescuing a little lost lamb. That sounds a lot easier than it turned out to be. After walking through wet weeds, tripping over hubcaps and beer cans, and a muddy dirt road (while the rain was still pouring on my hair spray) I got close to Junior. Well let me tell you when Junior saw this silly person with mud up to her knees and a hairdo that looked similar to a wet, flat football helmet coming toward him., he took off running like he was trying to qualify for the Wyoming Futurity.
Not knowing what to do next. I ran into the house and made a quick phone call to the man who owns the critters and has all the answers when his wife is in distress…Mr. M. As I stood there dripping on the floor. I explained my dilemma. His solution was a simple one…he would call our neighbor to help me and that I should. “go outside and wait for him”. Now someone standing in a nice warm building with nice dry clothes on, telling someone who looks like they have been mud wrestling at the local pub all afternoon, to go back outside in the rain and chase his critters was not met with much enthusiasm. But back outside I went, after all my hairdo couldn’t get any flatter or my clothes couldn’t get any wetter than they already were, and we do live by the rule…anything for the critters.
When our neighbor arrived, he started chasing Junior down the fence line to get him to the safety of the barn and his Mama. As he ran Junior one way. I ran the other way to head him off at the pass. Finally after running Junior completely around the perimeter of four acres we tricked him into running into the yard. Once he was in the yard there was no problem, he jumped through the gate to safety
After a good hour of chasing critters in the rain, mud and weeds. I sloshed into the house in time to hear the TV news say that NASA had just sent 24 rats and two monkeys into space. Wonder how NASA would feel about sending wooly-boogers to space…I think I know where they could find some.
