Open the Bottle and Let the Fireworks Begin
It’s time for celebrating. The reason for this celebration is the once a year event, a lot of Mothers look forward to… BACK TO SCHOOL. In my opinion, this event calls for champagne. (more than New Years Eve), and a fireworks display more spectacular than the one closing the Olympics.
The day after school started the Greeley Tribune ran a picture of a group of mothers filling glasses with champagne, in celebration of their kids going back to school. This was probably the most believable picture I have seen in many a year. After a summer of teenage logic and five and one half years of wondering if I would make it through another day, this Mother was ready for the school bells to start ringing.
Anyone who has had a teenager around the house all summer could probably tell you the same story: Teens act like the end of the world will surely be tomorrow, if they have to stay home one more day. They also use only logical reasoning when making escape plans. For example. “Suzie Jones Mom said that she can go skydiving, why can’t I?” Or the statement that probably scares parents more than any other. “But, all the kids are going”. (by all the kids do they mean, all the kids they know, all the kids in town or all the kids in Colorado?) And when the answer is no, they act like the end of the world will not be tomorrow as originally planned, but will happen in the next five minutes.
Five year olds are fun to have around the house, too. They always have well thought out plans like… I know what we can do today, we can go to Target and buy me a new tape recorder”. They also fully expect the answer to be. “OK honey, and while we are there we can pick up the 45” color TV that you have been wanting for your room.” And when they don’t hear the answer they expected, they succeed in making life miserable for the rest of the day Have you ever noticed that kids never have anything to do? Just because there is enough playground equipment in the yard for a day care center, enough animals to start a petting zoo and their room looks like the toy department of Sears at Christmas time, means nothing, parents are supposed to understand that there is nothing to play with. And of course, every five minutes they say. “There’s never anything to do around here, let’s go somewhere”, but if you have to be somewhere at a certain time, they can’t leave because their favorite program is on TV.
Being very envious of the ladies in the Tribune picture and wanting to have a one woman celebration the first day the house was all mine, (for a while), I gave serious consideration to popping the cork on the bottle of champagne that has been in the refrigerator for a long time. But after giving it some deep thought. I decided against it. I didn’t know how the kindergarten teacher would react to a middle aged mother of a five year old, showing up at school, half in the bag from drinking champagne at 9:30 in the morning, with the excuse that she was only celebrating the sound of silence. I’m sure she would have had the - Oh sure. Lady - look on her face… But then again, maybe she would have understood.
So, I just clinked my coffee cup into space and said to myself, Here’s to the teachers.. Here’s to school in the fall… Here’s to the Mom’s… who pray the school doesn’t call.
